Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I know, I know: I am a terrible BLOGGER. I thought the summer would hold nothing but limitless BLOG ENTRIES for me, but my urge to post has been subdued by a very unfriendly, unwelcoming house in ROANOKE, VIRGINIA, and a lack of domestic internet connection in CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

For a brief update: I have departed from SOUTH CAROLINA, spent about a week in ROANOKE and driven, with my good friend, IRENA to find my niche in the WINDY CITY. Thus far the city has shown me lots of bike rides, mexican food, free music performances and job hunts!
POST TOPIC: Small world!

Since moving to the big city I have fallen victim to many coincidences that continue to convince me that the world (or at least the USA) is not such a vast expanse, or it is at least very easy to convince oneself of this concept. Upon arrival in CHICAGO, I visited every American Apparel store (at which I was employed in SC) and told them my situation and dropped off a resume. Fast forward about a week and I see myself getting a phone call from the one in the LINCOLN PARK area. So, I went to talk to the manager and it turns out that one of the reasons he called me is because he too is from ROANOKE, VA and he used to work right next to/hang out at the same skateboard shop at which I worked!

Example number II:
My new buddy, PETE, invited me and my roomies to go see a couple bands in PILSEN last Friday, and so, never being ones to turn down rock 'n' roll, we tagged along. As I was JAMMIN' I felt someone walk up and stand very close to me and I figured it was just WEST, but when I looked over it was MATT KENNEDY, a South Carolina native and ex-USC schoolmate! There are about 3 million people in this city and the odds that we would be in the same small loft at the same time are seemingly impossible. One could argue that it was a rock show and this would be an easy place to run into people, but there were probably hundreds of rock bands playing that nite! Even MATT's roommate/other SC native went to see another one. Trust me, this is a big coincidence.

Example number III:

WALKER, WEST and I rode the metro home from a MEMORIAL DAY party a few days ago and talked to a girl called LORNA whilst riding back to our neighborhood. She gave WEST her card and he called her a few days later and before we knew it we were all headed to the GOLD STAR to meet up with her. On the way there my living partners and I were discussing how we want her to be from MICHIGAN so we can play euchre with her (a game that all MICHIGONIANS know, requires four players, and we have been itching to play since IRENA's departure). We walked into the joint and found her selecting jams at the juke box. One of the first words she said were, "I'm trying to find something by Television on here." Check one. After a little conversation we discover that not only is she from MICHIGAN, but she also loves euchre, has cards on her and is ready to play! Check two. All nite long LORNA had been wearing what appeared to be a KEFFIYEH around her neck. WEST inquired about the scarf-like garment and she informs us that it is actually a SARONG. Check three. WEST, WALKER, and I each own and adore SARONGS and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

The moral of this story is that it is indeed a small world after all and I will try to be a better BLOGGER and update this bad boy more often.

EPILOGUE to this post:
Remember our discussion involving JIM CARROLL about a month ago? Well I bought his 1980 album, Catholic Boy, yesterday morning, and I kept the CD in my back pack and went about my daily business. On a (seemingly) unrelated note, I was riding my bike down WESTERN AVENUE yesterday and as I passed an intersection I saw, just out of the corner of my eye, a man with a book by hard-boiled crime novelist, RAYMOND CHANDLER, pressed up against his face. This awakened thoughts of the class I took on the COEN BROTHERS two semesters ago and my reading of PLEASE KILL ME; in which LOU REED refuses someone a discussion of the author, instead requesting that the person DEFECATE on his FACE. Anywho, I got home and listened to the JIM CARROLL album and in the second song, "Three Sisters," CARROLL repeatedly sings the lyric "She's one to lay in bed all nite reading RAYMOND CHANDLER."

I can only wonder what underlying pattern of a larger FRAMEWORK of my life is being constructed around me. I will keep you posted.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Spooky Phone Takeover! Help!

I would first like to address the inactivity of TOTALLY BRANDON: It is FINAL EXAM time and I have been tending to other, some would say more important, writing assignments. Please forgive me. I have one exam left and then my only assignment for the summer is BLOGGING.

So anyway, I encountered a huge, unexplainable problem yesterday when I was trying to meet up with my friend, ANDY, at the CINCO DE MAYO FESTIVAL in Fenlay Park. I looked at my phone and had missed a call from him, so I called him back and he told me something along the lines of, "Hey did you change your voice message? Because it sounds like a girl now and I thought I had called the wrong person." I told him I had done nothing of the sort and then hung up and called my phone from my friend, PATRICK's phone. My phone rang and when it arrived at the voice mail message I heard, "Hey it's Meg; leave a message after the beep." It was my ex-girlfriend/still good friend MEG'S voice mail message!

This alone I found odd, but when I talked to MEG to ask her about it, she told me that she had recieved some phone calls, that she had missed because she was asleep, with strange area codes. After some further investigation, we discovered that the two phone numbers were those of PATRICK and ANDY, who had both tried to call ME. Then MEG hung up and tried to call ME, but all she heard was the "Please enter your password, then press pound" that comes on when one wants to check his or her voice messages.

What we have discovered thus far is that when I miss a phone call, the call will then go straight to MEG'S phone and she will then recieve the call that is originally intended for ME. I have never heard of anything like this happening before and of all the people with whom my phone could be COSMICALLY LINKED, the UNIVERSE has chosen MEG! I am BLOGGING about this because I am seeking help. If you have any experience with RENEGADE CELL PHONES please tell me what to do! ALSO: Shout-out to my older bro, BLAIR, who just turned 22 yesterday.
And DOUBLE shout-out to my parents, BART and LYNN, who celebrated their 28th anniversary yesterday.